May 17, 2005
Kylie
You may have heard about Kylie Minogue being diagnosed with breast cancer.
If you care enough, visit: http://www.savekyliesboobs.co.uk/ and make a donation.
If not, fuck off. Cancer sucks.
Posted by skoo on 04:53 PM | Comments (1)
May 10, 2005
Birthday writeup
Well, this update is about a week later than I planned, I had a great birthday, thanks to those of you who wished me a happy birthday, and BOO HISS to those of you who didn't!
Sassy spoiled me rotten and not only did she trick me by sending a sneaky package early, but I also had a second package that arrived a little after my birthday. It was crammed full of treats and I am still working my way through all the candy she sent me. She also bought me a share in Tottenham Hotspur FC
Thank you to those of you who donated for my birthday! I am considering waiting for my netbux payment to go through before I decide what to get, as it will inject about $50 extra into the fund. I would combine it with my birthday cash to upgrade repair my PC which is about to die, but I think I should buy something crazier with the money, and then write all about it. Feel free to suggest things.
Current Total in US Dollars: $72.92
Current Total in Pounds Sterling: £39.74
Posted by skoo on 08:18 PM | Comments (5)
April 30, 2005
Sun is shining
Weather is sweet. Yeah.
Birthday weekend 2005 is finally upon me. I've received some more donations for the skoo.net appeal to mankind, and I will be doing a proper update either later tomorrow, or Monday.
I shall leave you with this link to a rather cool animated hip-hop music video called "Moving Along" by THE PLANETS & blendfilms.com Click pic for info.
Posted by skoo on 02:37 PM | Comments (2)
April 26, 2005
Birthday Fund
Thanks to another amazing donation of £1 yes, ONE POUND my current birthday fund stands, after paypal took its fees, at a WHOPPING... £5.69 GBP / $10.56 USD.
With only 6 days left until my birthday, this means that the chances of me being able to afford a PSP are almost zero, however, I had a very quick look around for things I can buy.
I didn't give it long, but perhaps a pack of strange playing cards?
If I can somehow double my funds, I could go for something like this.
I love me some gizmos.
Posted by skoo on 08:48 PM | Comments (4)
April 22, 2005
Netbux
I never thought I'd ever get paid to search the net...
Head over to www.netbux.org and sign up, you can even refer friends, and get paid for their searches, too!
You'll need a paypal account to get paid, but those are easy enough to setup.
Posted by skoo on 07:17 PM | Comments (1)
April 17, 2005
USA Cont.
We made our way towards the 24 hour restaurant. I ordered a $5 milkshake and a philly cheese steak. Sassy ordered a weird salad thing that arrived in a giant mug-shaped receptical and some sort of scampi basket thing. Yes, that is a vague description, mostly because of the god damn five dollar milkshake. Wow. I think it was made from some sort of magic cow's milk. The philly cheesesteak on the other hand, must have been made from a regular cow.
Now that I come to think about it, I ate a lot of cow based products. Steak, Cheese, Milkshake. It wouldn't suprise me if cow poop was used on the potato field, either. Not that the fries tasted like shit or anything. They were rather nice fries, I'll have you know.
I could tell that night was drawing near so we decided to head back to the camp.
The next morning we headed out to the gaming floor again, only this time it was different. Sassy, for some reason, decided to put $20 into a $1 slot machine, and on her first roll she won $20. I forced her to cash out and we found machines that didn't cost so much. Better safe than sorry, you know.
We relocated ourselves to some machines called "Cleopatra", they were easy to play and had a huge advantage of costing 1 cent per roll. We ordered some sort of mudslide drinks and played Cleo' for a long time. I actually made some money back.
Feeling confident we went off in search of the holy grail. The 25c Monopoly machine. Luck was with us on this day and we found four of the blighters, relatively easily.
I knew something big was going to happen, I was wearing my lucky cowbell t-shirt, so Sassy rubbed it for luck before putting $20 into the machine...
[to be continued]
Posted by skoo on 12:20 PM | Comments (2)
April 14, 2005
Losing it
I've not had much time to update lately, mostly because I have discovered a show from the US called LOST. I had to pause it 8 minutes into the first episode so I could calm down, as I have been waiting for a show like this for years.
If I was a Japanese anime character, I would have had a face like this:
^_^
I suggest you do whatever perfectly legal activities you need to do in order to watch this show.
Whatever you do, do NOT google for: "LOST filetype:torrent" And certainly do NOT check any of the many tv torrent sites. That would be illegal and wrong. Shame on you for thinking that.
Posted by skoo on 08:02 PM | Comments (4)
April 10, 2005
PSP Stuff
A roundup of useful PSP related information:
Taking apart your lovely PSP. You'd be a fool to.
How to play multiplayer on the PSP with just one copy of a game.
Using your PSP to save your xbox games.
Getting videos and DVDs onto your PSP for free. There are other alternatives now, but the first article has a nice walkthrough for the novice.
Get TiVo on your PSP.
Read ebooks on your PSP.
One that Ash will like.. Webcomics on the PSP.
Access IRC via your PSP.
Making thumbnail images for your PSP save games, and movies.
Using Wipeout Pure to access the internet on your PSP. I suggest using the PSP Browser link on that portal, it has added functionality.
RSS feeds via your PSP.
Posted by skoo on 12:38 PM | Comments (7)
April 05, 2005
Secret handshake
Kharysma got inducted into Phi Theta Kappa yesterday, I am very proud of her! She has worked extremely hard at college and it is great that the American education system rewards students for working hard.
She is studying to become a nurse, and after reading some of the stuff she has to learn, I have to admit that I would not be able to cope. I had no idea what stratified squamous was, and to be honest I probably don't even know NOW. Hell, I don't even know if that is the correct spelling! You get the idea.
She is such a caring person and I am lucky to have her. Lookie here if you need proof, for her thread on the weebls-stuff forums. [Requires a forum account to view]
I could go on like this all day, so I'll end by saying "Love you, babe!"
Posted by skoo on 11:40 PM | Comments (2)
April 03, 2005
USA Cont.
The gaming floor grew near and I could see a mixture of elderly people and flashing lights. At first I thought it was some sort of disco revival, but then I remembered that plastic cups full of coins are not often seen at your local disco.
We did a lap of the gaming floor first. Sassy was looking for a very specific type of slot machine, as well as monitoring the craps tables. I had my keen eye out for the card tables, I fancied me some Texas hold'em in particular.
Eventually we decided to just pick a random slot machine and see how we'd go. $20 was deposited and to cut a rather boring story short, we didn't do that great.
We moved back over towards the craps tables and Sassy spotted a slot machine similar to the one she was hunting, so she sat down to play. It was a very strange machine and I think she came out even, although I was keeping one eye on the craps table behind us, as the stick-man dealer-dude (that is not a technical term) was being quite vocal.
We eventually moved a bit closer and just stood there watching, to get a feel for the table, when it happened. He spotted us.
Next thing I know, we are being taught how to play craps. This was actually quite handy as both Sassy and I needed a refresher course. Soon we were up to speed and we cashed in.
Casino chips have a great feel to them. I believe they are made from clay, with a little brass disk inside to give them their weight. Each denomination has coloured markings on the side, as well as being a different base colour. Casino chips weigh 11.5 grams each and they make the most wonderous noise when you "shuffle" them. I decided at this moment to start a chip collection. I took a $1 chip home with me.
Anyways, back to the main event, the table was very friendly and I got to witness some crazy superstitions, which I tried to mimic in later games. Best to fit in with the locals, you see. This typically involves rolling the die against the table wall until your lucky number(s) come(s) up. Doubles are quite popular, and some people will then stack the die ontop of each other, before lifting them up and throwing them down the table.
We played for a while, and had a good time. I was about even for the session, and Sassy was a little under. We didn't want to blow everything right away so we moved on.
Something I did not mention earlier was that this building had two casinos inside. We only toured one of the two, and I had assumed, from not actually seeing any, that the card tables were simply located at the other casino. I was partly right, as we swiftly located the blackjack tables.
"Must be getting close" I thought.
WRONG. BIG FAT WRONG. IN YOUR FACE WRONG. This must be the only casino in the world where you can not play poker. I was gutted. Words can not express. You see, when going to a casino you must be willing to lose all that you gamble. Which I would not have minded, had it been at the card table. But I was not to be given that chance.
Don't get me wrong, I was still enjoying myself, but I really wanted to play poker. At least I was in good great company!
Sassy dragged me off to get some food, and on the way she challenged me to guess the time, because there are no clocks and no windows in a casino. I guessed quite accurately and she seemed miffed that I was able to keep track so adeptly.
I said "I'm from England, we invented time!"
Posted by skoo on 12:25 PM | Comments (0)
April 02, 2005
You down with OPP?
(Obligatory Pope Post). Bad start, let me try that again.
As most of you will know by now, the Pope finally passed away today. I am not a religious man, and I am sure I will be sick of the word "Pope" pretty soon thanks to the media FRENZY that will follow, but in the meantime I am going to waffle on with my opinion(s) and anecdotes.
I will now share with you some info which I did not believe:
When the Pope dies, the officials that were part of the papal administration no longer rule. The governing of the Vatican is taken over by the Camerlengo of the Holy Roman Church, or Chamberlain of the church. The camerlengo supervises all aspects of what goes on from the the death of the pope to the election of the next pope. His responsibilities include the papal funeral and preparations for the conclave. The camerlengo's first duty is to perform a medieval ritual. At the deathbed of the pope the camerlengo takes a silver hammer and lightly taps on the pope's forehead three times, calling him by his Christian name. When there is no reply, he announces to those present that the pope is dead.
Brutal, but a fact none the less. It got me thinking, "What if he was only almost dead, and the hammer finished him off?" I mean, talk about pressure!
I was told about this on April 1st so you can hopefully understand why I would not believe it until I actually saw the proof. No, I did not see the pope getting hit on the head, I was refering to the link.
As I said earlier, I'm not religious, so I will not be able to appreciate the "grandness" of it all, but I do not understand why so many people are being disrespectful of his death. I suppose it is easier to make fun of things you do not believe in, or things that use a silver hammer to test for death. I'm still having trouble with that info. Can you imagine if you hit the pope on the head and he was just sleeping?
I am glad for his sake that he made it through April 1st, although I suppose it just prolonged his pain. You know what? I really don't know why I started writing this post. In my non-religious eyes, he is just an old man who died, and for that I am sad. But in the grand scheme of things, surely that is what he wanted to do all along? To meet his maker? This is too much philosophy for a Saturday night.
Rest in Peace, old man. You deserve it. The Peace, that is.
Posted by skoo on 11:13 PM | Comments (3)
March 27, 2005
USA Cont.
We checked in and proceded to visit our room. I attacked Sassy in the elevator with my lips and maybe hands. Yes, hands. This is the usual course of events when I am in an elevator with her. I gave a little wave to the security camera as we arrived on our floor.
After a short walk away from the elevator, Sassy fumbled with the electronic door key for an age before I said "Give it to me" (the key, you pervs) and unlocked the door. We moved inside the room and both made noises of appreciation.
We were something like 32 stories up and the view was incredible. Our room overlooked a river, and the remnants of a snow storm were clearly visible.
Sassy grabbed the guide booklet and started to read up on the services while I turned the TV on and contemplated going online to say hello.
Our room had a minibar that was controlled by weight. If you remove an item it KNOWS what you have taken and instantly charges you. I did have the idea of putting an ashtray inside for weight, and then removing an item - but I didn't want to try. Those minibars are expensive. And tricksy.
I sat down at the desk and declared it to be my new office.
We agreed to visit the shops before we did any gambling, so that was to be our first stop.
The shops were very expensive but equally cool. One shop litterally had a giant aquarium for a frontage. This was especially well timed for us because we got to see the fish being fed. By a Scuba diver. In a shop front. Surreal to the max.
A lot of the shops sold memorabilia, signed cells from animation and film. Signed instruments, and sports equipment. There was a triple pack of signed Michael Jordan shirts @ $4,000 each ($12,000 for the set, yay maths).
"Wait a second, there is a Krispy Kreme shop! Oh boy Oh boy Oh boy." I said.
Finally, something I could afford. I made a mental note to visit there when I was hungrier. Mmmm donuts.
I could hear the slot machines getting louder and I knew we were approaching the gaming floor. Time to put my poker-face on.
[to be continued]
Posted by skoo on 04:49 PM | Comments (1)
March 23, 2005
USA Cont.
My concept of time might seem distorted to anyone who was actually present for these events, but only one of you was there, and I am sure Sassy will forgive my slight inaccuracies, in the name of science, of course.
The next day Sassy and I decided to made plans. Now, I'm not usually one for making plans, Weebl will attest to this. He and I once flew to America without knowing where we would sleep, so this whole plan-making thing was probably a step in the right direction.
Sassy suggested that we go to a casino. Sweet mother of rice, did she not realise what she was saying? Me, in a real life casino? With real life money? HELL YES.
Sassy insisted on booking a room, I would have rather driven there and slept on one of the various slot machines. In the end a room was booked. A lovely king-sized room, with a TV that apparently can access the internet, as well as doubling as an n64 games console. This sounded promising from the start.
Our trip to the Casino was shockingly quick. My supremely accurate navigation guided us there like a heat-seeking golden arrow from a marksman's bow, just before it plunges into the heart of his foe. That rhyme was not intentional, but I believe it worked well. It stays.
We arrived to see the giant shiny building that would act as our home for a while, and I pleaded with Sassy to let us park our own car, but she would not listen and drove us right into the valet section. Good god, these men were like an organised team of breakdancing chimps. Record-breaking chimps. Before I knew what was happening we were inside the casino and our car was gone. I vaguely recall looking over my shoulder to see the very shiny corvette that was next to us. I may have said something like "I'll order mine in yellow".
[tbc]
Posted by skoo on 10:37 PM | Comments (0)
USA Cont.
The cigarettes arrived, Marlboro lights. None of that perforated filter shit, this was the real deal. I would require an incendiary device of some sort. Usually I would reach for my Zippo lighter, but with new laws coming into place, I opted not to run the risk of having it taken away by those damnable customs agents.
Sassy informed me that she had a weapon suitable for the job, at her house. These cancer sticks would have to wait.
As our journey continued onward I noticed a roadsign that said:
SLOW
CHILDREN.
I made note of this information. It would prove to be useful in a later situation.
We arrived at Sassy's house and bundled out of the car. The next moments are a blur as I took my bags inside as quickly as possible, only to be confronted by one of Sassy's brothers.
We immediately took our stances, before throwing up some gang signs. Of course, neither of us are in a gang - this was purely a way for us to greet eachother without actually touching. Eww.
"Fo sheazle, my weasel" I screeched.
With the ceremony, and the first step in my journey complete, I was able to relax more, and the rest of the night blurred into "sleep".
[...more to follow...]
Posted by skoo on 02:54 PM | Comments (0)
March 21, 2005
USA Cont.
The journey back to Sassy's house was long and mostly uneventful. This was not the first time I had made the journey, so using my immense wisdom, I tilted my chair back so I could rest my occular sensory devices. Apparently 50 cent was going to take me to the candy shop, how kind of him.
"Cigarettes." I stated. "I'll need cigarettes."
It was at this moment that I was told that in order to buy cigarettes, I would require I.D.
Hold up. Let me get this straight... I need photographic I.D. just to buy cigarettes? What a crazy country. They force you to drive when you are about 12, but you have to be 40 just to buy booze and apparently you can only smoke if you are a pensioner.
No wonder customs tried to get my rolling tobacco at the airport, the poor bastards were just after a smoke.
I drifted back into my timeworn state only to be shaken loose by Sassy.
"Do you have any cash?" She asked, some urgency in her voice.
"Cash?" I thought, moments before I said "Cash?" and opened my eyes.
We were sat in some sort of queue. Many cars were all around us, and I'm pretty sure I heard a hellicopter. Actually, I said cars, but I meant huge-ass vans, trucks and people carriers. The average American doesn't even know what a car looks like. I started to doubt our disguise, as the vehicle Sassy had chosen was indeed a car. Bum fuzz.
My senses were streaming now, trying to decode the situation. Why was there suddednly 20 lanes of traffic, with each lane forming a queue? It seemed like there were many Taxis all in the farthest left lane, although I don't think this helped any in my deduction. Was this some sort of roadblock?
"Customs must really want my tobacco." I muttered to myself.
I glanced ahead to see an arm protruding from one of the vehicles in our lane.
"Is he trying to escape?" I thought. Soon I was to learn what this crazy situation was all about. Our lane slowly moved forward and my eyes were able to focus on the series of mystic hieroglyphs positioned above us.
"Toll Booth?" I said. "What the hell is a Toll Booth?"
Sassy got me up to speed rather quickly as I nervously handed her three fresh dollar bill notes, while trying to avoid eye contact with the little savage people that lived in the booths. Spies, no doubt.
Apparently they have toll booths because they dont pay tax, or something like that. With this newfound knowledge, you'd be forgiven for thinking they must have excellent road surfaces and transport systems in place. Not in the slightest. I believe the Americans keep their roads in a state of decay to further prolong the transport "system" and provide mechanics and tyre-fitters with jobs. Those rat bastards have them all fooled!
It was at this point I deployed Sassy to buy my cigarettes. I was comfortable in my seat, and although my American accent is more believable, we agreed that she was going to be the point-man for this mission. Not that she is a man, but "point-person" sounds fucking awful.
[to be etc...]
Posted by skoo on 12:58 PM | Comments (0)
March 20, 2005
USA Cont.
When I said I was free, I may have lied.
I strutted out of the doors, expecting to see Sassy (my girlfriend getaway driver) waving at me from the other side of the highly secure hand-rail. My eyes quickly scanned back and forth, but there were no signs of her. This was a potential spanner in my works. "Act cool skoo, everyone is only staring at you because you are first out. Don't trip over or anything. That's it, good lad, goooood lad, keep walking now." I walked past as if I knew what I was doing. They didn't suspect a thing! Those silly Americans, so naive.
I walked right past everyone and stopped near the door before pulling a 180 and once more scanning for Sassy. I am quite adept at spotting her from behind, but I refuse to explain my methods in detail.
"Nope. She aint there." I thought, in an American accent. Shucks, I done did it now.
I whipped out my trusty tool and pushed it in just the right place to wake it up.
Now that I had turned on my phone (what were you thinking?) I was able to call Sassy and find out what twist of fate had caused this really hard to document waste of time.
Do you know what the reason was? Of course not. Otherwise you'd be writing this, and I'd be freaked out. The reason was something to do with traffic. Anticlimactic answer, huh?
I can assure you this is not the end of my tale.
[to be continued... again...]
Posted by skoo on 09:57 PM | Comments (1)
My trip to the US of A
It will be written-up as and when I can be arsed have time.
For the purposes of people who are reading this for the first time, "Sassy" is also known as "Kharysma".
Here is the first update:
The flight was short and sweet. 52 movies were available, I saw two of them. Alfie was first up. Utter pants compared to the original. Time was not to be wasted in mourning, however, as I leapt straight into Garden State. Somehow I had managed to fool myself this was going to be a stoner comedy. Boy was I wrong. After watching these two mind-numbingly cack-fisted hack jobs, I tried to keep my brain alive by watching a documentary about how vitamin supplements can actually be bad for you. The damn annoying thing was, I ran out of time and missed the end half, so I don't actually know why. Oh well.
My plane landed at Logan airport. Not that I own a plane you understand, but the plane in which I was held prisoner for many gruelling hours finally landed on a slightly snowy/slushy runway. At one point I was sure that we'd actually end up spinning off into another plane. If only.
I walked power-walked ran past everyone that had left the plane before me. That is my number 1 tip for people who fly. Do not be affraid to run past these fools. If you waste time before customs, you will end up stuck behind hundreds of them and wishing you were back on the plane listening to outdated radio stations and eating snack foods that contain no flavours what-so-ever.
I had been forewarned of cold weather, but I am English. We do not fear the American "cold". I was wearing a T-shirt that said "I need more cowbell!" and I think this is why I was rushed through customs. They may have rushed me through, but they still took my fingerprints, the bastards. What do they have against me? I started to get nervous. Was I the only one they did this to? What would happen next?
I did not have to wait long to find out. As I told customs I was not carrying any tobacco, it suddenly dawned on me that I had indeed bought 10 pouches of rolling tobacco in duty-free shopping. The sweat must have been obvious, and I started to fumble on those easy questions like "How long will you be staying in the US, sir?".
Shit. "Errr, a week... I think" I said meekly. I knew as soon as I said it, that things could turn bad at any moment. I ws cracking up under the pressure. I needed to act cool. I should say something.
"Seven days." I blurted out. Oh, you simpering fool, skoo. You simpering fool! I realised later, that this was not only a line from The Ring, but I was actually intending to stay for eight days. This was my second, albeit unintentional, lie.
Just to recap: We now have a tired and dishevelled Englishman in a freezing cold US airport, wearing a "comedy" t-shirt, and dripping with sweat. I must have looked so guilty that it double bluffed him. Ha! Before I could tell anymore lies, my visa was stamped. I was free to buy guns and leave tips for anything that moves.
Or so I thought.
I made my way to baggage reclaim. Here I wasted perhaps 20 minutes of my life watching a variety of bags moving around the conveyor belt like some sort of badly prepared sushi. "Holy shit, that's my bag!" I thought.
With hindsight I think I was perhaps a little too happy to see my bag.
I somehow got past the next customs agent in record time, he literally only required a waft of my passport, and I was now finally free from the shackles of airport oppression.
[to be continued...]
Posted by skoo on 09:30 PM | Comments (0)